For Christmas last year, we built Miss E. a play kitchen.
We took an old night stand, slapped on some paint, used a little elbow grease, some ingenuity and some various real kitchen parts and made her a place to build her own fantastic food creations.
This year, we decided to build on it and added a workbench on the back. It was less work, and quicker all around. So now she can go from making a souffle to sawing some wood in a few short seconds.
I meant to add some of these pictures last year, but here are some photos to re-count the process.
Step 1: Start with an old night stand
Step 2: Slap some paint on it
Step 3: Add some fixtures: a sink, a faucet and some burners
Step 4: Add a door, some more fixtures and some decorations and it’s almost done.
Step 5: Ready for play-time
Step 6: What is it? The big reveal!
Testing out the plumbing
The oven light is on, and ready for baking.
Wow, look at that!
Checking out the new tools
The next step; adding the workshop on the back. A backboard with hooks, and a work bench.
A workman is only as good as his or her tools.
Checking out the measuring tape
Not exactly standard worksite approved clothing, but it will pass.
This Bizarro cartoon gives kids a good reason to learn history.
What was the USSR? That question came up during a family Christmas. As someone who did their Master’s in History, and who once had plans to teach history, this question was shocking.
It was made worse when it wasn’t just a high school student asking that, but a 20-something as well.
And it made me realize how much of a dis-service to students, and to society, is happening with the standard approach to teaching history. People don’t know their history, and generally aren’t interested in history.
I’m in the minority when I say history was my favourite course in school. Most people generally say they were bored by history class, or forget most of what they learned. And this is a problem. Beyond the old idea of “those who forget their history are doomed to repeat it” a knowledge of history is vital to understand so many conflicts and situations facing the world today.
I think the standard approach, starting from the beginning and trudging through years, and dates, and names, doesn’t quite work for most people. So is there a solution?
Reverse Chronological Order
Most history courses are taught, starting from one date, and moving forward in time. This makes a certain amount of sense. Time is a progression and events follow each other. That’s great. That’s how we think, that’s how most stories go, and that’s how history happens.
But is it the most interesting approach? I would think people are more interested in knowing about events that happened in their life-time, which we are still seeing the effects of, or for which their are still living witnesses. But with the standard approach, modern events are rarely touched.
I personally remember taking more than one Canadian history courses where we barely get to Confederation before we run out of time and a 20th Century history course where we barely got to the Second World War. I know it’s important to understand events that lead to the next event, but if the events are never connected to the student’s life, the lessons won’t stick.
So what if we start with modern history to get the students hooked, and then go backwards from there? It could either be a full backward course, or you could jump back and forth. Granted, this could be fairly confusing for people who like to keep things in order, but it could help provide more context for events. It could also make learning history more like unraveling a mystery. You know the outcome, so then you look at what caused it.
Thematic
While this is sacrilege to people who like the “great man” type of history teaching, we could approach teaching based on the interests of students.
In university, there are already thematic history courses, but why not bring this down to high school? It doesn’t have to be a full course devoted to, say, urban history, but it could be a course on “The Revolutions that Shaped our Society”. This would show students the ties that bind history together. Or even local history courses, showing connections to the rest of the world.
Or, perhaps history could be worked in the other courses of the curriculum. Often, my major projects for my science classes ended up being papers on the history of that particular science. If someone isn’t interested in history, they might at least be interested in the history of their favourite topic. And this would give them a deeper appreciation of where what they are learning came from.
Current Events and Root Causes
My high school history teacher often asked us to bring in current events to discuss. This was great as it gave students a chance to talk about the history being made, as it was being made.
What if an entire history course was taught taking current events, and looking at discussions of the cause of those events, the motivations and inspiration for the players, and perhaps even connection to other historic events?
Granted, this type of teaching would be completely disjointed and confusing, and would take a lot of work to prepare. But it could be good for senior level high school students, letting them define where their learning develops.
Pop-History done right
Popular conceptions of history is a problem for teachers. Accepted myths, history taught by television and film and history as understood and conveyed by politicians inform how many people understand history. And this understanding is often shallow and mis-guided.
The fast-talking John Green and the Crash Course History team provide a great example of how pop-history can be done right. Through a series of 10-15 minute You Tube videos, Crash Course provides quick history courses, but they don’t shy away from providing deeper understandings of history, and they gladly challenge accepted beliefs and myths.
As a great example, take a look at their video on the American Revolution:
A combination perhaps?
Are any of these approaches better than the standard approach? Or is a combination called for?
In the end, I’m not a teacher so I will have little influence, but I’m interested to hear from current history teachers and professors, or people who are still on track to enter the profession. What do you find works best to get students engaged in learning history?
We’re looking at the same sight, but I think we might be seeing different things.
Miss E. has recently started to craft arguments, but she doesn’t quite have her rhetoric down yet.
A typical case might go something like this: “Dada, want to watch t.v.”
“Not right now”
“But want to watch t.v. cause…um…want to watch t.v.”
It’s hard to argue with the cuteness, but not hard to see the flaws in her logic.
And this leads to my most striking revelation yet…children are not logicians. In fact, children don’t respond well to logic at all.
I try to be a logical person; so much so that many people have referred to me as a robot. So despite knowing a child’s brain works in its own mysterious way, I find myself getting a bit frustrated from time to time when trying to get Miss E. to do something or to make a decision.
She will often make a decision or ask for something and mere moments later decide she wants to do something else, and then will often go back to that original decision.
When I try to explain something to her in a logical manner, it often ends with little result except me having just wasted my breath. Silly me for trying to use logic on a child.
I was thinking about that this weekend a bit, and wondered if it ever really changes; that is, do parents and children ever start to see things the same way, even after the children grow into adults, and have children of their own?
Why was I thinking this? Because we went to a family Christmas and what better defines a family Christmas than having awkward conversations revealing how different member of the same family can have divergent opinions and viewpoints.
The disagreements this weekend included things close to home and personal, like what is the purpose of a wedding, and who should get to decide when and where a wedding happens, to larger issues like the power of words and the reason terms once considered ok are now not.
As I said, I try to be logical, or at least think I approach things in with some semblance of logic, but I will admit that I am also probably needlessly adversarial about my viewpoints, intentionally picking at subjects to get a reaction, or to show how much I know about a certain subject.
There were lots of words exchanged this weekend, mind you none really in anger or spite, but in the end nobody really changed their opinion on anything.
But as I was driving home, I was thinking about both these things: how I can’t understand how or why some people have the beliefs or opinions they do, and how a child processes things. And it made me think that maybe I should be a bit less stuck in the mud with my views and approaches, because in the end, while I can express my opinion, having a strong or loud conversation isn’t really the way to change someone’s mind, and maybe it’s just part of being a parent – not understanding your children.
As a parent, you make decisions about how you want to raise your children, what you want to teach them and what traditions you want to introduce them to.
And then the rest of society steps in.
Media, people buying gifts, staff and kids at daycare; these are all influences on your children you can’t, and maybe shouldn’t, try to control.
Christmas is an interesting time to reflect on this, because most families have their particular Christmas traditions and things they want to do. And then there is what the rest of society puts around Christmas: Santa, gifts, lights, parties, shopping.
Miss E. doesn’t seem too interested or excited for Christmas, but she really likes Santa. She wants to watch Santa on Netflix, she points out when she sees Santa decorations everywhere, and when I sing Christmas songs, she only wants the ones about Santa.
Did we introduce the idea to Santa? It’s hard to say. The idea of Santa is so ingrained in our culture that it’s possible that we introduced it to Miss E. without thinking about it. And even if we didn’t want to at first, we are now using Santa as most parents do; as a way to promise gifts without out-right spoiling Miss E, and as a way to threaten punishment of some form, not delivered at our hand, but by someone else not bringing her gifts.
This, of course, isn’t a new thing. My mother says that when we were kids, she didn’t tell us Santa was coming, but my older brother started talking about Santa, so he must have picked it up from somewhere.
Outside of Christmas, there are things like gendered toys and play-roles. We try not to encourage the traditional idea of “girls toys” and “boy toys”, and Miss E. loves playing with trains and watching trucks and tractors at work. But, she has also really gotten into dress-up and playing princess. This could be due to day-care where she plays with other girls her same age, but at home we see her trying on clothes and looking at herself in the mirror.
So, it’s obvious she is picking things up from us, whether we realize it or not. And she is influenced by other people.
When Miss E. was still a baby, Jenn and I (somewhat self-righteously perhaps) told ourselves we wouldn’t let her watch television until she was three or older, or at least not use the television as a baby-sitter. But that’s another thing that’s changed. We can’t turn the television off wherever we go (even though I do if it’s clearly on only as background noise or when it’s on in the middle of what should otherwise be a family event), so that’s how she was originally introduced to cartoons. And then we started letting her watch television at home. We’re still pretty tight with her viewing, letting her watch one or two episodes of Thomas or Barney or what-have-you a day, but it’s a compromise we made; or perhaps, a change in our perspective.
You can’t shelter your kids completely, and I’m not saying I want to. Being introduced to new things makes you a better, better-rounded person. But it’s a sobering reminder that, no matter how hard you try, and no matter what plans you think you are making for raising your children, society, and even your own actions, will really determine the people they become.
So, it’s only been five months since my last blog post. Oops.
What can I say? I was busy. A lot has changed in that time.
Aside from enjoying summer with my little family, and taking a trip out East, we also welcomed the safe arrival of our son in September, and, two days after that, I started a new job.
Both new things are great.
When Mr. J. was born, we were told, by many different people, that we now have the “Million Dollar Family”. Up until that point, I don’t know if I had heard that term, or at the very least, whether I paid attention to it. But whether people tell us or not, we are happy with our little family, and trying to figure out a new routine.
The new job has made that easier in some respects, and more difficult in others.
It’s easier because it’s much closer to home. I am now working in downtown Hamilton, which means I can bike to work, and bike home for lunch. So I am home much sooner, without sitting in traffic, and able to be an active and engaged Dad for much more of the day.
When Miss E. was born, I was commuting into Toronto; 2 hours each way. At times, it felt like I barely saw her. Now I’m home mere minutes after leaving work. We now generally sit down for dinner at a time that, if I was still commuting from Toronto, I would be switching to my second train. And we get to enjoy plenty of time in the evening together.
Moving jobs also meant I had to move Miss E. to a new day-care, again. Luckily the transition went well. She is there two days a week, and home with “her baby” and Mama for the rest of the week.
A few or two after Mr. J was born, I was sitting on the couch with Jenn, looking at him. Miss E. was in bed, and a just took a second to think about how great things were in that moment.
Of course, parenting is still parenting, with all it’s challenges, but that’s a matter for other posts.
So, when I posted a few months ago, we had started to potty-train Miss E. We wanted to do this before the arrival of baby #2 (due in September). And it worked. Much faster than we expected, which is great.
Soon after we started trying, she was going through the day without diapers, and nearly a month ago now, she decided she wasn’t going to wear diapers to bed. She just straight up told us, “No diapers”, and that was it.
There have been a few oops-moments, including two earlier this week, but so far as we can tell, she’s trained. But there are two small problems.
Problem 1: We’re not sure it will hold. As I mentioned there were two “accidents” earlier this week. This has happened before, and it’s generally when we are out and she is occupied with other things. And that could have been the case for one of them. We also wonder whether she was upset, and it was acting out.
We have told Miss E. about the new baby, and she is coming around to the idea, but we’re not sure how she’ll actually handle it.
We started having her nap in a new bed, to get her accustomed to it, so the baby can move in to the nursery. We also picked up some more cloth diapers for the new baby, and Miss E. said she wanted to wear them. And Jenn had to leave for a couple of days for work. We think all these things may have combined to just be too much for her. But we will see how the next few days go. She was still dry through the night as well, and in the days following, so all is not lost.
Problem 2: We aren’t really sure how it worked to potty-train her so early or so quickly. Cloth diapers? Maybe. We were also sitting her on the toilet as early as when she could sit up, so maybe that was it. Can we re-create it for another kid? Who knows. Right now we’ll just enjoy the reprieve from diapers…for another couple months at least.
Baby #2 is nearly here. I mentioned it passing that we were expecting last time. But the idea is really starting to sink in again, which includes some of those familiar question of…”Wait, what are we doing?”
We’ve been preparing ourselves and the house for the baby, including moving bedrooms around, and making the attic a master bedroom/hopefully kid-free space. We’re getting Miss E. familiar with her new room and new bed, and we’ve picked up more cloth diapers. (Unfortunately the diaper service we used last time is no longer in business. Fortunately, we were able to get their retired diapers for less than $2/each. Score!)
Preparing ourselves mentally is a bit different this time than last. When you are expecting the first time around, it is kind of all-consuming. You have time to talk about child-rearing, and time to plan the nursery, and look and clothes, talk about diapers, and toys, and food and so on and so on.
The second time around is trickier. Partially because we’ve been through it before, but also because we have another little person to take care of. So this pregnancy has seemed to go by a lot quicker. And it’s really starting to set in that it will be here soon. And sometimes we are ok with that, and other days, especially on days when Miss E. is busy being a toddler, we wonder how we’ll handle it all again.
We’ve also been preparing Miss E. for the arrival. Aside from getting her potty-trained, we’ve talked about the baby coming home and being a big sister. While she was initially not really into the idea of a baby, she seems to be coming around to it.
She will even give the baby a kiss, via a kiss to Jenn’s belly, and wanting to play with the baby, asking me to sing Row-Row-Row your boat, as she sits on Jenn’s lap and rocks back and forth.
I think she might be a bit disappointed when the baby does arrive and it just sits there for the first few months.
She is still a bit confused I think, as she will sometime point to her belly and say there’s a baby in there.
But, we’ll soon find out how this all ends up. In two short months the baby will be here, and we will be consumed in joy, and up to our elbows in dirty diapers, and won’t even have time to ask ourselves what we got ourselves in to.
It’s amazing how much attention people will give to kid’s bathroom habits. If you don’t believe me you may not have heard the news about the “latest trend” in parenting, diaper-less babies, using something called elimination communication.
Of course, this isn’t a new thing. It’s actually a trend that people have been trying for awhile, but it is suddenly in the media after a New York time article explaining the idea. But more importantly, it seems to be in the media as a way to ask whether modern parents have gone to far or are crazy.
We use cloth diapers, as I’ve mentioned before, and we quite like them. Washing them isn’t a big deal, and I think we’ve probably saved money by not having to buy disposable diapers. It’s said cloth-diapered babies train earlier, and considering Miss E. is nearly potty trained already, only going through one diaper a day, I think we’re doing fairly well.
But even I think some people get a bit too uptight or involved in proselytizing about “the right way” to get your baby to do what is one of the most natural of body functions.
The question of diapering (or not, as is the case) can get people pretty riled up, or at least take up a lot of air (or screen space). Within the past two weeks, I was involved in two conversations, at least 20 minutes in length, about different types of diapers. Before I was a parent, I didn’t think I would ever see that day…mostly because I didn’t give much thought to diapers at all.
For the majority of people, those who use disposable diapers, it’s not really much of a discussion point. But when you go down the rabbits hole of cloth diapers, it’s an entirely new world. Even deciding on the right diaper system is difficult. And there are a lot of them: prefolds, contour, fitted, all-in-one, hybrid. Do you want cotton or bamboo? What kind of covers do you want? It can take a lot to figure out what’s best. And you do want to make sure you have a system you like.
We like the system we use, but we kind of fell into it. We were using a diaper service for the first few months, and when Miss E. grew out of the first size, we just bought some of the retired diapers the service had for cheap, picked up a few night diapers of a similar design and viola, we had selected our system.
And once you’ve selected the right diaper, there is all sorts of questions about cleaning, and storing…and on it goes.
And while we’re talking about “alternative” parenting methods, I will mention baby-wearing.
Again, we are baby-wearers, in that we have slings and an ergo-baby carrier, and we think it’s pretty handy. It can free up your hands, keep your baby nice and close and it seems pretty comfortable for the kid as well. Sure some people might think it makes you look kind of silly, especially if you have a giant winter coat over the carrier to keep the baby warm (believe me, I walked around Berlin like that, and I felt odd), and it is the focus of some stupid sitcom jokes now and again, but it’s a good method all around.
But I don’t think it gives me any particular connection to a “true method of parenting”, or any secret tool for your child’s development, but other people believe it, and like cloth parenting, they can get pretty uptight about it.
In the end, we’re happy with the choices we made, but, (aside from a blog post now and again) I don’t think I’m going to be screaming at parents about how they should be raising their kid.
We celebrated by giving her cake for breakfast. That’s a responsible thing to do, right?
She had cake for breakfast…but there were berries on it, so that makes it better, right?
Of course, with that birthday, she has entered the “Terrible Twos”.
I don’t know if this is supposed to be an over-night change, or just a gradual thing that people begin to notice when their child is becoming more like a human, and less like a thing that gurgles and giggles.
Tantrums
We have noticed Miss E.’s attitude showing through for awhile, soon after her first birthday in fact. The behaviour described in the previous post had calmed for awhile, to some extent. But she’s remembered how to produce those tears at will, and, now that she’s a bit bigger and has more weight to through around, she is more determined to get what she wants.
In the week since her birthday, she’s had a few tantrums, or mini-meltdowns. But maybe that’s more due to the aforementioned cake, and the Easter candy, than anything else. Still, as she grows and develops her personality, there will be more tantrums, and it will be an interesting time to keep not give in just to calm her down.
But turning two isn’t all about being terrible. We’ve also seen some great development.
But even that comes with its own set of questions.
Toilet Training
We’ve started toilet-training. In truth, we’ve been doing this for awhile. From a very early age, if we knew she had to use the washroom, we would set her on the seat. This was more to get her used to the idea than anything else. We didn’t want to rush her or pressure her, but rather introduce the toilet. But over the last few weeks we’ve been trying to get her on the toilet more often.
We use cloth diapers, and one of the reported benefits is that children toilet-train easier or earlier. So far, that seems to be true. She is already, often waiting until she can sit on the toilet, instead of soiling a diaper. On most days, we’re down to one or two dirty diapers. And this past weekend, she actually woke up dry from a full night’s sleep.
As I said, we are trying to make sure we aren’t rushing her into it but rather following her lead. And she seems to like using the toilet. So much so that, after she is done she will leave the washroom and loudly announce what she just did. It, of course, might help that toilet time has also become extended story time.
The biggest difficulty has actually been convincing other people that she is, in fact, ready for this.
When we told the daycare we were trying, their initial comments were not, “Oh great” but rather, “Oh…that’s early.” or “Oh, but she’s so little yet.” But they are on board now as well. We know she probably won’t be fully toilet trained for awhile, but we’re happy with where things are.
And Thumb-Sucking
On the opposite side of the coin is the pressure other people seem to put on her to stop sucking her thumb. From daycare to random people on the street, people will tell her that she doesn’t need to suck her thumb, that she would look cuter without her thumb in her mouth (yes, really), that she should stop that, ask if they can have a suck (which is weird, even if it’s someone you know, and when Miss E. is all too willing to put her finger in other people’s mouths), or even pull her thumb out of her mouth.
We know thumb-sucking isn’t great for kids. It can spread diseases, and hurt oral-development and all sorts of other things, but from all I’ve read, thumb-sucking is a soothing mechanism, and one of the best ways to make a child to continue sucking their thumb is to tell them to stop, or make them stress out about it. So, we give her that.
Maybe we have things in the reverse order. Maybe we are pushing her on to the toilet too fast, while being too lenient about thumb-sucking.
But there’s progress on that front too. She doesn’t insist on sticking her finger in her belly button while sucking her thumb, so that’s a step ahead.
A dad going off the track(s) 